If your child has ever played under a demanding cricket coach, you might have felt the urge to tackle the challenge head-on.
If the coach is critical, you might feel the impulse to criticize in return.
If the coach relentlessly points out the team’s flaws rather than celebrating its successes, you might be inclined to scrutinize the coach’s strategies.
While these approaches might work intermittently, they may not consistently yield the desired outcome. Your goal is likely to reduce the coach’s negativity, and responding negatively yourself is unlikely to achieve that.
So, how do you navigate a pessimistic coach? Here are a few suggestions:
- Assess the validity. Negative individuals often perceive their viewpoint as realistic and justified. Filter through their feedback and inquire whether there’s any truth in it. If a coach consistently highlights negatives to your child, guide them in discerning whether there’s something to learn. If you find no substance in the negativity, move forward.
- Counter negativity with positivity. If your child’s coach is bombarding them with negativity, ensure you’re fostering positivity at home. When your child returns, recounting a session where the coach criticized their effort or errors, you can respond with comments like, “Seems like it was a challenging practice. What positives can you take from it?” Or “I’m sorry it was a tough day, but I’m proud of your hard work!”
Responding with your own negativity about the coach will only fan the flames, leading your child to think, “Now my parents and the coach are both unhappy.”
- Attend practices and matches. While its not always advocated for parents to be present at every practice, if your child is encountering a negative coach, your presence, along with other parents, might help in moderating the coach’s behavior. Following these sessions, engage with your child: Did the coach behave differently with parents around? What stood out?
- Redirect your child’s focus. My children faced various coaches with a negative approach. We encouraged them to shift their focus—on their game, their teammates, and their love for the sport. On multiple occasions, I’d say, “Don’t play for the coach, play for the team.” Coaches will come and go, but friendships and the passion for the game should remain steadfast, even when a new coach arrives.
- Tread carefully when addressing concerns. While confronting negative coaches rarely yields success, adopting a positive and non-accusatory approach might lead to resolution. Instead of accusing them of negativity, try addressing the specific issue affecting your child.
For example, if your child struggles with a particular cricketing technique and the coach expresses disappointment, the core problem isn’t the coach’s negativity. The challenge lies in your child’s skill development. In this scenario, consider saying, “Hello Coach, my child is grappling with their technique in this aspect. Could you offer some insights on how we can assist them in improving?”
- Choose your path. As a parent, you must decide whether to seek another team due to the coach’s negativity or to view it as an opportunity to impart vital life lessons to your child. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer; it hinges on the severity of the coach’s behavior and its impact on your child. Does it foster growth? Or does it lead to irreparable disillusionment?
Though it’s tempting to blame external factors for your child’s challenging cricket season, the truth is that you, as a parent, wield more influence than you might realize. How you manage the coach’s negativity and counteract it could be a game-changing factor for your child.
