In the roller-coaster of emotions that school sports dish up, perhaps the most gut-wrenching moment for a school athlete (and their parents) is when they’ve enjoyed a great season, dedicated themselves to relentless training all year, channeling their inner Rocky Balboa, and then, after attending provincial trials, the teams get announced, and their name is conspicuously absent.

 While the athlete may find it a bitter pill to swallow, it’s often the parents who feel it most. After all, they’ve sacrificed time, energy, and resources throughout their child’s career, and not being able to proudly share their child’s selection with the planet can feel like a surprise slap in the face. It’s tough watching your child hurt, and for many, the first instinct is to lash out at the selectors. But is that fair?

 Let’s dive in 👇

 Let’s take a moment to appreciate these unsung heroes who quietly toil in the shadows, often making decisions that can make or break the dreams of aspiring athletes. The school provincial selectors are faced with the Herculean task of choosing just a few players from a sea of talent to craft a formidable provincial school team. Theirs is a tough challenge, an unenviable task that tests their judgment, patience, and diplomacy.

 Pressure Cooker Situation

Expectations run high in the world of school sports. Players expect their talents to be recognized and rewarded with a coveted spot on the team. Parents believe their child is the next superstar, and they are not shy about making their voices heard. Coaches want the best players for their teams, and schools crave provincial representation. Amidst this sea of high hopes, the pressure on selectors is immense, and inevitably they will face a backlash from disgruntled parents whenever the teams are announced. They’re on a hiding to nothing, trying to balance countless factors to please everyone, which is an impossibility.

 So if lashing out at the selectors won’t do much good, what will?

 Here are 3 Tips to Deal with Not Being Selected

#1: Chill, Players and Parents

 Don’t blame the selectors or howl at the moon, insisting you or your child were the chosen one. Trust us; it won’t help and will make things worse for everyone involved. Think about Bryan Habana, one of the greatest Springboks of all time. He started his school career playing for the KES U14 G team! What didn’t the selectors see? Michael Jordan got cut, so did Messi, Themba Bavuma, and even Handre Pollard. Countless sports legends had their “Thank you, next” moments. Let selectors do their job without external interference. Offer support and encouragement to the players who made the team and remind those who didn’t that there’s always another chance to shine!

 #2: Curb Your Reaction:

 Rein in your emotional response. As much as you may want to strangle the selectors, its time to count to ten and take a step back. It’s crucial to convey your disappointment without blaming the selectors. Overreacting and labelling the decision as unfair or denouncing the selectors’ choice will only compound your or your child’s distress and suggest that they aren’t up to par, or worse, that venting frustration on others is acceptable.

 #3: Avoid adopting a victim mentality;

 It only leads to more disappointment. In the selection process, there are typically only a few players who stand out as obvious, straightforward choices. However, for the majority, they fall within the middle ground. Reflect honestly, were you one of those easy, standout players? Realistically, most would acknowledge being part of the middle group. The challenge intensifies for selectors in this category. While biases can sometimes come into play, it’s essential to understand that, for the most part, selectors are genuinely striving to assemble the best possible team.

 Many Enemies and Few Friends

 Remember, not making the team sheet is just a chapter in an athlete’s sports journey, not the whole story. Don’t let the fear of rejection paralyze you. Keep your goals in sight, whether it’s back on the field or exploring new paths. Sports are an evolving adventure, so be your adventurous, resilient self and keep pushing forward. All possibilities are open, and every setback is a setup for a comeback.

 So, the next time you see a selector, give them a nod of appreciation, and remember, it’s a challenging gig they’ve got where enemies are many and friends are few.

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